spoke too soon

so...

i am writing this from the most uncomfortable chair to sleep on i have ever had to deal with. yesterday, we thought we were going in for a run of the mill sonogram where they were going to tell us that the twins are fine, and that B is growing ok. woops. there was a different story, and now here we are in UCSD with life turned upside down. all i can say is, i hope they are cool kids!

seriously tho, i dont know what to think, or what to pray or anything at all. i went to church tonight and addressed the kids a little. i just talked about how silly it is that we are willing to do anything to preserve physical life, yet so not willing to help someone understand that they are spiritually dying.

anyway, i am pretty scared and feel very little. i havent really showed it yet, but i think i will crack soon.

LORD, please help.

twins at 25 weeks

so here i am, getting ready to go to the overnighter, and all i can think about is what it will be like to have twins. We are at 25 weeks now, and i am a weenee christian at best, why the heck should i be qualified to parent three girls? why am i qualified to be in charge of a ministery? why when people question my leadership ability do i agree more with them than not? when will i start valuing the Bible more than interaction with people and with TV again? at some point i will.

for now, it seems like i am doing better at loving my wife more than my ministry. i just hope that keeps up forever, cause i really really dont want to be one of those guys who ends up blowing it because i was focused too much on other peoples families.

youth ministery in Malawi

so last night (wed.) after chapel a brother named Russel. i had known that the juniors and seniors here at the school have started reaching out to the youth in the close by villages with the gospel, but i hadnt known how it came about or how they were doing it. Russel turned out to be the guy that is in charge of that ministry. the thing was he came up to me asking how to do youth ministry. talk about humility! this guy was standing in front of me with a furrowed brow, concerned with the youth of his nation, and he desperately wants to serve them accurately and really help them understand the grace of christ. it was so crazy after a week of mostly thinking i have wasted peoples time coming here, cause while this trip is cool for me, i have just felt like im not really doing ministry that anyone else could do. All i could do was encourage him to use the gifts of those around him and not fall into the pressure of creating program instead of relationships. man, i always wanted to be in the position to help someone do something like that. i am just humbled and small. i really cant wait to go home and conjor all the recources i have to help this guy out. i mean this could be a huge movement of youth in this country! i dont know, im just really humble.

Africa just got cool

wow i dont even know where to start!!!

on tuesday we did the same ol prayer group with a side of break out groups with some cool africans on top. but the highlight was going to an orphanage that is sponsored by children of the nations. it was just so rad cause there was couple that had basically over 30 kids that they are raising as their own. we went and the kids sang us a song and then showed us all around the farm. the farm of course isnt like farms we would have here, it was a little african farm with wierd looking ducks and really really cute puppies and these kids that would have nowhere, and by all rights should have nothing (i mean they are sinners too right) but GOD's grace is huge, and he has caused these people to care and love them to the point of making these kids genuinely happy. Christ just seems to be everywhere in these places, and i cant help to want to be a part of it. i could totally easily

after that experience we went to have dinner at the chin chens. i think i might need to make that a whole nother post, cause i need to rant a little.

But Yesterday, Yesterdy is really what hit me. i mean dont get me wrong, the whole emotionally disturbed aspect is just lost on me. to be exteremly sad because someone doesnt have an ipod just isnt gonna happen to this guy. We got to walk to a village with a lady who used to help out around Jennys house (see rant for more on this). her name was Caroline, and while once in a while uzoongu (honkeys) do come to the village, they usually just appear out of a car. well, here in Malawi only a very very few have cars, so people walk miles and miles to get to work (they are very lucky if they do have work to go to. so me and Cory talked jenny into letting us walk to Caroline's home with her. she was stoked to have us, and boy was it cool. i mean i have seen third world, and to be honest there are little squatters camps in the states that are as poor as these people, but the contentment and fun these people seem to have was really cool. i couldnt help picturing Jesus walking around this village with little children following him (as they were us). once we got to Carolines house, which was in the heart of the village, we got to meet her husband and four children along with the other 3 children they take care of. we sat in thier living room and spoke kind words for a while, got the grand tour, and then that was enough of that, the kids took us outside to the little yard to play. they taught us a game with a rock, and i taught them pizza cutter. it was pretty cool. about that time i started asking caroline how she straps her baby to her back so well, and she taught me and then carol and jenny told her that becca is pregnant and we have a baby. at that point she was like, lets go get you one of these things. so we walked to the little market and got to really enjoy the village a little more and see what it is like. the whole time we were walking around i was thinking that this is the kind of situation that Jesus was in as he walked through the villages preaching. we got to buy caroline a new baby carrier and some food. we want to buy her a chicken for her family really bad, but you have to go far to buy a chicken. that was really the trip that will cahnge my thought for a long long time.

first day of ministering in malawi

wow! today we jumped into it!! i am still prosessing a lot of today. we woke up and went next door to the music teachers 
house for a prayer meetin with the students. i was expecting 

a normal prayer meeting and what i got was sitting in a living 
room in Malawi with a bunch of people from all over the
country calling on God with the zeal of people who actually
believe that God is real and listening and cares. needless to
say that was a great way to wake up! that was followed by
going into chapel to hear Carlton preach. He brought the
heat about anger. I had never realized that in the sermon
on the mount the reference to raca and stuff was talking 
about the consequence for the act. its just cool new info.
i have never enjoyed a carlton sermon as much as today.

directly after that we were invited to tea by our new friend.
his name is Yame (pictured above). on the way to tea time (which is something
that needs to happen more in america by the way) i got to hear
his story and learn about how he came to know God and stuff.
it was rad how similar his story was to so many of the people
i know at home.

after tea cory and i lead a small group break out type deal where
we broke into what Carlton talked about and it was rad to get to
know these guys.

that was followed by a quick lunch of Carol's awesome tuna, and
then we cruised the town around the school. it was pretty crazy. 
Jennie didnt help. her driving on the wrong side of the road. we
lived though.

at that point i was tired but stoked. now me and Cory are solving
all the problems of the universe and i am a little overwhelmed
thinking

oh CRAP a Gecko just attacked me and Cory. more later...

my freind cory

man its good to know someone else jiggles sometimes, you know?

my first african night

welllll,  i have kept a journal since 7th grade and somewhere between jberg S. Africa and Malawi i lost it. ya i usually loose things and then find them again in like an hour, but that is when my life is good and contained in my rich little suburban san diego. i cant really travel back to the Jberg and be like, hey can i have my journal, i think i lost it?  anyway, so far africa is cool, but my life isnt changed. i guess i dont think im cynical, i just think that i really love people and i unerstand that people are people no matter where you go. we have met some rad people just on the airplanes and stuff, and i hope to get to know some of the students i get to work with better. but for now i just kinda feel like im in the midwest with the drone of the billions of insects outside lulling me to sleep.

the coolest part so far was going to the church service. it is such a small congregation, and they sang us a welcome song. it was wierd because in a lot of ways the people remind me of us. they all wish they were somewher else, but knew that God just might speak to them. the cool thing was that PC brought God's word to life, and got ME excited for his series this week on the 7 deadly sins. and i figure if im excited then other people must be toooo