spoke too soon

so...

i am writing this from the most uncomfortable chair to sleep on i have ever had to deal with. yesterday, we thought we were going in for a run of the mill sonogram where they were going to tell us that the twins are fine, and that B is growing ok. woops. there was a different story, and now here we are in UCSD with life turned upside down. all i can say is, i hope they are cool kids!

seriously tho, i dont know what to think, or what to pray or anything at all. i went to church tonight and addressed the kids a little. i just talked about how silly it is that we are willing to do anything to preserve physical life, yet so not willing to help someone understand that they are spiritually dying.

anyway, i am pretty scared and feel very little. i havent really showed it yet, but i think i will crack soon.

LORD, please help.

twins at 25 weeks

so here i am, getting ready to go to the overnighter, and all i can think about is what it will be like to have twins. We are at 25 weeks now, and i am a weenee christian at best, why the heck should i be qualified to parent three girls? why am i qualified to be in charge of a ministery? why when people question my leadership ability do i agree more with them than not? when will i start valuing the Bible more than interaction with people and with TV again? at some point i will.

for now, it seems like i am doing better at loving my wife more than my ministry. i just hope that keeps up forever, cause i really really dont want to be one of those guys who ends up blowing it because i was focused too much on other peoples families.